Sunday, January 4, 2015

Why I decided to become an artist

Since my birthday is not so far away, I decided to reflect on this question. Obviously I have been loving drawing since I was a little girl. Sometimes I was drawing even for hours. Oh yes, in drawing I feel like I'm in my own element.

My grandmother was usually drawing and painting with me. I can still remember clearly how we used to sit in the kitchen and paint with watercolors. That was so much fun!

Later on when I was about 8 years old and went to school, I also took some art classes. I was always very excited to go there. I think I was attended at these classes for few years. After that I had to concentrate more on my studies because it turned out that I wasn't good at math. Sometimes I felt quite sad because I missed those art classes.

When I was a teenager I went to a model school. At first it seemed so interesting and perfect but as the time passed, I realised that it wasn't for me. That because I got an opportunity to represent one brand's clothes and that required me to stand on the stage and walk on the podium. But I was and still am a really shy person and I knew that I can't do anything like that. So I decided to quit the model school.

During the high school I didn't draw very much. We had an art history class and sometimes teacher gave us some homework to do which included drawing. Everytime when I drew something, I felt like my soul was singing because of the happiness. And sometimes when I was at home and doing my other homework, I used to take some breaks from studying and during those breaks I used to sketch something. I think it was my way to relax because I was having a lot of tension because of the school. Many times I was having troubles with mathematics, physic and chemistry. I even had private teachers who helped me to stay on track. Looking back, this was my body's way to tell me : " Liisi, mathematics, physic and chemistry is not for you.You are meant to draw, you are meant to be creative"

After high school when most of my classmates went to study something in the university, I had no idea what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. Sometimes its just hard to figure out so important things in life, you know?
Going to the university immediately after high school didn't seem right for me. Especially when I didn't know what I wanted to study. I took some time off. I went to work. I worked in the cafe and sport shop. It didn't take me long to realize that customer service isn't the thing that I want to do for the rest of my life. Because not all the customers were nice and I found it emotionally really exhausting taking other people's negative energy inside of me and in the end of the day when I finished work and went home, I felt so tired and sad.
I understood that most of the people are doing the 9 to 5 work just to survive and they were so sad and angry inside- they didn't like what they were doing.

Finally I got an idea. I wanted to study business and marketing. So I went to the university. Most of the time I was happy with my choice but then I started to get some doubts. I had to do some presentations and that meant public speaking. My legs were trembling and I was having real difficulties by remembering what to even say. And again there was a lot of tension in my life. I tell you a secret. There were days when I got my panic attacks and depression so I wasn't even able to go to school. I was so depressed and sad. I started to draw and paint again. Slowly I started to feel good again. My mood wasn't so bad anymore and life didn't seem to be so hursh. Eventually I quit university and started to concentrate on art again. I can't even tell you how happy I was making that decision. I just felt refreshed.
Looking back I now understand that all those things that I experienced were there for a reason. To show me what I should do and to learn some life lessons. Thanks to all this knowledge I can start my own art company.

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive"- Howard Thurman

Have you ever experienced something similar? 

No comments:

Post a Comment

01 09 10